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August 30, 2022 by Jeff Fisher Leave a Comment

The Big Barn Preschools Philosophy on saying “I’m Sorry”

Children age 3-6 do not understand exactly what it feels like to be sorry and most of the time they do something to another child or adult they do it on purpose to convey their feelings.

When something makes a child upset or angry and they react. Maybe they yell, hit, push or even bite. This for a preschool age is normal (except the biting that is extreme). Children this age don’t take a minute to look at a situation and think “Maybe that was an accident.” Children just react. That is where the teacher or parent has to step in and explain.

Here is a possible situation:

Johnny is playing with the blocks and Suzy runs by and knocks his tower over. Suzy wasn’t looking where she was going, she didn’t do it on purpose but Johnny doesn’t see it that way and pushes Suzy down. The teacher has seen the whole thing. She brings Johnny and Suzy together and askes them what happened. Johnny says Suzy is mean and knocked his building down. Suzy says no I am not mean! I didn’t see it. Then the teacher will help them with their words. She needs to remind Suzy how we move inside. “We walk says Suzy.” That’s right, were you walking? “No” Suzy says. That is why you didn’t see his building. Is that right? “Yes”, says Suzy. Listening to this Johnny hears she didn’t do it on purpose, but he is still mad. Should they be made to say sorry?

Either child feels sorry. Instead of saying sorry we would encourage them to Talk about their feelings and say they will be more careful in the future. Johnny needs to be able to express he is still mad. The staff would ask Suzy how she can help Johnny feel better? Even suggest she help him rebuild the tower. This way Johnny feels better and Suzy learns to feel compassion and how to help when she makes someone upset.

Making Suzy say sorry wouldn’t teach her this. It only teaches her the correct and publicly scripted words.

At The Big Barn we are trying to teach the children to not only be responsible for their actions but to learn their actions have consequences. Making someone feel better after we hurt then either physically or emotionally is one of the most important things we can teach. The word “Sorry” is an adult word that has no meaning to a child. We need to teach how to be sorry before we teach the word or that word has no meaning.

Bonnie Kasman, Director

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Our son started day care last year when he was two years old, after being home with his aunt full-time. We enjoyed the social interactions he was getting and the friends he was making, however, we fel… Read more
The Uhlig Family
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We love The Big Barn Preschool! My son has been attending for 2 years. The teachers are dedicated, and providing a loving, nourishing, safe environment. I feel completely at ease, that my son is in th… Read more
We love The Big Barn Preschool!
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Wonderful and nurturing preschool setting! The Big Barn Preschool welcomed my son with loving arms. The well-qualified staff knew how to make the transition from home care to daycare an extremely posi… Read more
Wonderful and nurturing preschool!
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I cannot recommend The Big Barn Preschool enough.  Not only is the staff highly qualified and extremely professional, they have been very kind, warm and patient towards my daughter.  The school is v… Read more
Elizabeth
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My son just started kindergarten. It’s been one week. His teacher saw us playing outside after school and came up to me to tell me she was AMAZED at Royce’s reading skills. She asked if he had any… Read more
Kelly Gunnett
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I am writing a review for Big Barn Preschool. My daughter, Lily, has attended Big Barn Preschool since she was three years old. Lily will be attending Kindergarten in the Fall and will be moving on fr… Read more
Marie Owen
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I went to visit the preschool and as soon as I pulled on the property I knew this was anything but generic. I took a tour of the preschool and before the end of the tour I knew this was where our chil… Read more
This preschool would enrich their lives
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My family moved to Schaumburg in the Spring of 2015. Buying a new home in a new town was something that scared us to pieces. We heard that Schaumburg had great school systems and that it was a remarka… Read more
Jenna & Jason Middleton
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Our 4 ½ year old daughter, Brianna has been attending the Big Barn Preschool for almost a year now. Brianna absolutely loves the teachers and students at the school and often does not want to leave w… Read more
Michael and Tamara Hanson
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Our three-year-old son just finished his first year at Big Barn and we have been so pleased with his progress there. He was a late talker and spoke very little when he started but has progressed leaps… Read more
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