Halloween is the perfect time for monsters, right? Not all of the time. Many children age 2-6 are very afraid of monsters and spooky creatures. Children this age don’t know reality from fiction. We tell them that something is not real they repeat it but see it on TV or in a movie, it looks real to them and so it is even though you just told them it is fake.

The perfect example is Spiderman. Children love Spiderman. He is a person who is bit by a spider (scary thought and can create fear of spiders) though he can do super cool things and helps people fight the bad guys!

Today at school we had a talk about Spiderman. The children said he wasn’t real, but in the next thought, said “maybe I can get bit and turn into Spiderman too”.

At this age children don’t understand what real and fantasy quite is. They are starting to but the lines blend together a blur a lot. They think cartoons are not real but a movie with real people they are. Over my 30 plus years of teaching I have talked to many children about this conundrum, and even though the characters have changed, the problem of real vs fake is still there.

Children of this age mind have not developed the capacity to completely understand this topic. Now, especially with the awesome computer graphics that have the capability of making everything look real, how does a child stand a chance of figuring it out?

As adults we need to just keep talking about the subject of real and fake or pretend. Reassuring the children that even though the character in the movie looked real and alive, it is not and it will not come and get them. Be patient with your child; learning this topic takes years of practice.

This extends to Halloween night. There are many scary costumes and exciting ones as well. Children who go trick or treating or just open the door to trick or treaters may be frightened or fooled into thinking the characters are real.

When visiting the costume store look at masks with your child, put one on; show them it is still you under that mask. This time of year can be scary or fun and sometimes a bit of both. Make sure to prepare your child for the night so they are not caught off guard.

Holiday time is the time of year where we look back at our life and choices. I was looking at my children the other day and I realized they are awesome adults and maybe my husband and I did something right. So I thought about the way we raised our children and the choices we made. These are some of the things we did that I feel helped to make our children the fantastic people they are.

1) We always talked to our children about what was going on. We never said “Because I said so!” We felt they deserved a reason for our decisions. The answers were never long or drawn out, but short and easy to understand. Even if they didn’t think it was fair they understood why.

2) Spanking was reserved for dangerous situations, for example running into the street without looking. We choose to talk about the problems and work out the solutions in a peaceful manner. There were times they would get sent to their rooms to calm down from tantrums and then we would talk.

3) From about the age of five our children had chores to do. Easy ones to start like cleaning their rooms or toys. Then they got harder. As soon as they were in third grade they had to start helping to clean the house. Each had a floor to clean. Bathroom, living areas, play room, and kitchen. They switched off floors weekly because the lower level was easier. They had a week to get all of the rooms done because homework came first. They were also paid for their hard work.

4) When they came home from school they were allowed a snack but then their homework had to be done. Of course if they had a problem they knew they could save that part for when we came home and we would help them finish. Good grades were expected, but that didn’t mean B’s and C’s in a difficult class wasn’t good enough. We only ever asked them to do their best.

5) Family time was important! Dinner was always together and sitting at the table. We tried to do fun things together on the weekends. Sometimes going out to do activities and sometimes movie or game night at home.

6) Celebrating their accomplishments was also important. Going out for dinner to celebrate good grades or success in sports was important to our children and made them feel proud.

7) One of the most important things is telling them how proud we are of them. And how much we love them. We still do this as much as we can.

My children are 21 and 18 and I am so proud of them! My daughter is a junior at Augustana College and my son is a senior at Hoffman Estates High School. They are both kind, considerate, loving, and excepting of others differences. They care about others as they do themselves. I can’t ask for anything more. They are not perfect but neither am I so I don’t expect that. Only that they do their best.

The Big Barn Knows….

Being the wonderful child care center we are we realize many parents feel guilty about the time they are away from their children. I know that family time is hard to come by on the weekends with everything else a parent has to do. Please remember family time doesn’t have to take a whole day.

There are many things families can do together that take less time and don’t cost money. There is nothing better than spending time with the family, except spending time with the family for free!

There are many activities and places you can go that are free, so you can feel even better about doing them. Some of the activities you can do at home. Remember it is not about where you go but what you do and who you do it with.

One of my favorite activities is cooking with my children. Make carrot cake or banana bread with your children, then go and give some to the neighbors. This promotes early reading, early math and sharing.

Making a scarecrow is another one my daughter loved to do. All you need is an old pair of pants, long sleeve shirt, shoes, a hat, some hay, some pins, gloves, newspaper and a bag or plastic pumpkin. Pin the clothing together and tie some string around the top of the shirt.

Start stuffing paper in the arms, legs and stomach. Draw a face on the bag and stuff that too. At the ends of the sleeves and pants stuff some straw, sticking out a bit to make it look good. Sit it in a chair or on the ground. Put on the shoes, hat, and gloves. Have fun!

Don’t forget the old time favorite of raking leaves and jumping in them or having a leaf fight!

Places to Go!

There are many places to go in Chicago and the suburbs that are free or have free days. Free play gets a whole new meaning at Navy Pier’s Chicago Children’s Museum (700 E. Grand Ave., 312-527-1000) which lets you in for no charge on Thursday nights from 5:00 pm-8:00 pm and on the first Sunday of every month.

Lincoln Park Zoo may seem to be an obvious choice, but it shouldn’t be taken for granted. The city of Chicago is home to one of the few free zoos in the U.S. Plus almost all wildlife exhibits are stroller accessible. (Don’t miss the outstanding Regenstein Center for African Apes.) The only thing you will have to pay for is parking which starts at $20, so take public transportation.

You can expose your child to music, dance and theater performances in a kid-friendly setting (meaning that sitting on the floor, wandering around, and noshing on Goldfish crackers are all permitted) at the Juicebox Series, hosted by the City of Chicago. Free performances are held every other Friday at the Chicago Cultural Center and every other Saturday at the Garfield Park Conservatory, September-May.

For more free programming this summer, check out the City of Chicago’s Millennium Park website.

Uptown’s Montrose Point Bird Sanctuary is one of the city’s best-kept secrets. This 15-acre birders paradise is home to migrant songbirds during fall and spring migration seasons (best times to visit are April through May and August through October).

The meadow, beach, dune and path to the Lake Michigan pier are so scenic that it’s a great day out, whether or not the kids want to bust out the binoculars. Another great place to go to in Chicago is the Museums. I know I said free, but there are many free days at the museums; check out museumfreedays.com for the list of free days. Bring a picnic lunch for a totally free day!

Not up for going downtown? That’s okay – go to Spring Valley Nature center in Schaumburg or The Crabtree Nature Center in Barrington, 3 Stover Rd, Barrington, IL 60010 Phone:(847) 381-6592. The Crabtree Nature Center has many free events planned and list them on their site.

Don’t forget to gather some leaves, acorns, and other cool nature stuff on your walk. Bring these items home to make an awesome center piece or collage.

Last but not least is Cantigny Park in Wheaton. There are beautiful grounds to walk around and best of all tanks to climb on!